Post by randomnpc on May 28, 2004 18:16:00 GMT -7
Sadly, there is no section for game fanfics, so I have been forced to put this here. Anyways, LET THE HOR--I MEAN, FANFIC BEGIN!
METAL GEAR SOLID: THE SONS OF STUPIDITY!
Prologue: 8 years earlier...
Snake stood outside the base in the freezing cold. Snake thought to himself, Dang...it's cold. Suddenly, he got a codec call from Otacon.
"SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
"I'm not dead yet, you idiot!"
"Oh...in that case, I need you to enter the base and locate Metal Gear."
"METAL GEAR?!" Snake had horrid memories of the last time he faced Metal Gear. Except he couldn't remember when that happened.
"Anyways, I doubt you'll face too many ridiculous bosses before you get there. Just keep your cool."
Suddenly, Fatman, Revolver Ocelot, and Superman appeared, and simultaneously, they said, "SNAKE! YOU MUST DIE!"
Snake, being a quick thinker, quickly thought I WILL NEVER DIE! Sadly, he didn't say this, since it would've made a great comeback.
Snake was unsure of what to do, and called Otacon for help. But this was not a boss fight, just a 10 hour cinematic, so Otacon couldn't help. Instead, Ninja came in and sliced Superman in half with a Kryptonite sword. Fatman was already dead, so he was never there, OR WAS HE?! Ocelot ran away, but if he had stayed, Ninja would've kicked butt, as Ninja always does. 10 hours later...
Ninja had revealed to Snake the secrets of Metal Gear: IT WAS INVINCIBLE! Snake had to disable the invincibility complex to defeat Metal Gear. Snake knew what he had to do. He snuck up behind the first guard, pulled out his gun, and yelled "FREEZE!". Then he saw the guard was incased in a block of ice. What new villain could've done this?!
Snake proceeded through the base, finding guards both frozen and not frozen. Eventually, he found the control panel to the invincibility complex. That's when an icy, eeeeeeeeevil laugh laughed...
"You thought it'd be this easy, Snake, or should I say, MOM?!"
"...I'm not your mom."
"You're not, are you? What about in 1984, when your blood fell on a particular MALE snowflake, and created me, ICE MAN?"
"Ice Man...isn't that a Mega Man villain?"
"Well, yeah, but..."
"Mega Man is owned by Capcom! This is a Konami game!"
Then Capcom sued Konami, defeating Ice Man(tm)(c)(r). Then Snake proceeded to deactivate the invincibility complex, which really activated the disco lights!
"THEY BURN!" Snake shouted, as he shot up at them! Little did he know that they were triggered to a set of explosives...
So the base blew up.
TO BE CONTINUED...if I feel like it...
METAL GEAR SOLID: THE SONS OF STUPIDITY!
Prologue: 8 years earlier...
Snake stood outside the base in the freezing cold. Snake thought to himself, Dang...it's cold. Suddenly, he got a codec call from Otacon.
"SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
"I'm not dead yet, you idiot!"
"Oh...in that case, I need you to enter the base and locate Metal Gear."
"METAL GEAR?!" Snake had horrid memories of the last time he faced Metal Gear. Except he couldn't remember when that happened.
"Anyways, I doubt you'll face too many ridiculous bosses before you get there. Just keep your cool."
Suddenly, Fatman, Revolver Ocelot, and Superman appeared, and simultaneously, they said, "SNAKE! YOU MUST DIE!"
Snake, being a quick thinker, quickly thought I WILL NEVER DIE! Sadly, he didn't say this, since it would've made a great comeback.
Snake was unsure of what to do, and called Otacon for help. But this was not a boss fight, just a 10 hour cinematic, so Otacon couldn't help. Instead, Ninja came in and sliced Superman in half with a Kryptonite sword. Fatman was already dead, so he was never there, OR WAS HE?! Ocelot ran away, but if he had stayed, Ninja would've kicked butt, as Ninja always does. 10 hours later...
Ninja had revealed to Snake the secrets of Metal Gear: IT WAS INVINCIBLE! Snake had to disable the invincibility complex to defeat Metal Gear. Snake knew what he had to do. He snuck up behind the first guard, pulled out his gun, and yelled "FREEZE!". Then he saw the guard was incased in a block of ice. What new villain could've done this?!
Snake proceeded through the base, finding guards both frozen and not frozen. Eventually, he found the control panel to the invincibility complex. That's when an icy, eeeeeeeeevil laugh laughed...
"You thought it'd be this easy, Snake, or should I say, MOM?!"
"...I'm not your mom."
"You're not, are you? What about in 1984, when your blood fell on a particular MALE snowflake, and created me, ICE MAN?"
"Ice Man...isn't that a Mega Man villain?"
"Well, yeah, but..."
"Mega Man is owned by Capcom! This is a Konami game!"
Then Capcom sued Konami, defeating Ice Man(tm)(c)(r). Then Snake proceeded to deactivate the invincibility complex, which really activated the disco lights!
"THEY BURN!" Snake shouted, as he shot up at them! Little did he know that they were triggered to a set of explosives...
So the base blew up.
TO BE CONTINUED...if I feel like it...