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Post by Lorddy2005 on Oct 15, 2005 2:32:59 GMT -7
you didn't quote the message, which if you read the first post stated that if you are going to rate any jokes please quote it and then rate it!
but thank you and please don't quote it now just to follow by my rule just remember[/u] this for next time!
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Post by Scott on Oct 17, 2005 3:32:49 GMT -7
Here is a quip... Q: What does a Redneck call a dead possum in the middle of the road? A: Sushi! One day three midgets were sitting around the table drinking tea and having crumpets. The first midget says to the other two, " You know, I think I have the smallest hands in the world." He continues, " and I think I should go down in the Guiness Book or World Records and try to get in the book!" The second midget replies with, " You know, now that you mention it, I probably have the smallest feet in the world. I think I'll go with you and try to get into the record book, too!" The third midget joins in with, " I'm going too because I think I have the smallest thingy in the world. Let's go!" So the midgets set off to the offices of the Guiness Book of World Records. When they arrive, the first midget is called in and is gone for awile. Finally he comes out very excited. " I made it! They measured my hands, and sure enough they are the smallest in the world. I'm in the record book!!" The second midget is called in, and soon he comes out very excited. " I made it too! They measured my feet and sure enough, they are the smallest in the world. I'm in the record book, too!!" The third midget goes in, is gone a very long time, so long that his friends became concerned. Finally he appears with a rather forlorn look on his face. " What's the matter?", his friends asked. The third midget responds with " Who the hell is Bill Clinton?!?!!" Note to this joke: You can insert anyone's (male) name in place of Bill Clinton. Try it on your best friend!!!!!!!HAHAHA! I Give it a 9.95 out of 10
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Darren ea 2K7
Leviathan
Inactive Portal Points: 23
UNITED TILL I DIE !!!!
Posts: 1,206
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Post by Darren ea 2K7 on Oct 17, 2005 6:50:27 GMT -7
Here is a quip... Q: What does a Redneck call a dead possum in the middle of the road? A: Sushi! One day three midgets were sitting around the table drinking tea and having crumpets. The first midget says to the other two, " You know, I think I have the smallest hands in the world." He continues, " and I think I should go down in the Guiness Book or World Records and try to get in the book!" The second midget replies with, " You know, now that you mention it, I probably have the smallest feet in the world. I think I'll go with you and try to get into the record book, too!" The third midget joins in with, " I'm going too because I think I have the smallest thingy in the world. Let's go!" So the midgets set off to the offices of the Guiness Book of World Records. When they arrive, the first midget is called in and is gone for awile. Finally he comes out very excited. " I made it! They measured my hands, and sure enough they are the smallest in the world. I'm in the record book!!" The second midget is called in, and soon he comes out very excited. " I made it too! They measured my feet and sure enough, they are the smallest in the world. I'm in the record book, too!!" The third midget goes in, is gone a very long time, so long that his friends became concerned. Finally he appears with a rather forlorn look on his face. " What's the matter?", his friends asked. The third midget responds with " Who the hell is Bill Clinton?!?!!" Note to this joke: You can insert anyone's (male) name in place of Bill Clinton. Try it on your best friend!!!!!!!HAHAHA! I Give it a 9.95 out of 10 very good I gave them both 8 out of 10
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Post by Lorddy2005 on Oct 17, 2005 13:49:56 GMT -7
Here is a quip... Q: What does a Redneck call a dead possum in the middle of the road? A: Sushi! nice and digusting! 9/10HAHAHA! I Give it a 9.95 out of 10 thank you Scott. Looks like i'm in the lead! Scott second and Bart Simpson third!
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Darren ea 2K7
Leviathan
Inactive Portal Points: 23
UNITED TILL I DIE !!!!
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Post by Darren ea 2K7 on Oct 18, 2005 5:37:44 GMT -7
A father buys his son 2 Goldfish, and once the father has given the boy the fish, he tells him he must call the goldfish 1 and 2. Puzzled, the boy asks his father why this is, well the father replies, if 1 dies, you still got 2!!!
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Post by Lorddy2005 on Oct 18, 2005 13:18:41 GMT -7
A father buys his son 2 Goldfish, and once the father has given the boy the fish, he tells him he must call the goldfish 1 and 2. Puzzled, the boy asks his father why this is, well the father replies, if 1 dies, you still got 2!!! funny but not really hilarious 7.5/10
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Darren ea 2K7
Leviathan
Inactive Portal Points: 23
UNITED TILL I DIE !!!!
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Post by Darren ea 2K7 on Oct 19, 2005 3:27:53 GMT -7
Thanks!
Did you hear about the accountant with insomnia? He decided to try counting sheep, but he made a mistake and was up all night trying to find it!
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Post by Lorddy2005 on Oct 19, 2005 14:44:23 GMT -7
Did you hear about the accountant with insomnia? He decided to try counting sheep, but he made a mistake and was up all night trying to find it! i personally didn't like this as i've heard it way to many times and accountant jokes just don't make me laugh! but I rate this joke as 6/10
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Darren ea 2K7
Leviathan
Inactive Portal Points: 23
UNITED TILL I DIE !!!!
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Post by Darren ea 2K7 on Oct 20, 2005 1:10:31 GMT -7
Thanks
this might not be funny
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married." "Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
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Post by Scott on Oct 23, 2005 17:27:11 GMT -7
A father buys his son 2 Goldfish, and once the father has given the boy the fish, he tells him he must call the goldfish 1 and 2. Puzzled, the boy asks his father why this is, well the father replies, if 1 dies, you still got 2!!! 8/10 Thanks! Did you hear about the accountant with insomnia? He decided to try counting sheep, but he made a mistake and was up all night trying to find it! 2/10 Thanks this might not be funny A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married." "Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket." 8.5/10
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